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no (future)

by nearly headless

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1.
ok. ok? 03:57
Erosion Rolls along the ocean And the commotion Recall the previous night Weather in my brain Pulled every cell, every grain Down to the basin So you would feel the same I beat you down Maintained creasing frowns Frustration gripped the reigns Grievances rained on your brow (Spoken Word) "Lillian was walking through the market. It was like walking through an Oriental bazaar. Gold filigree from Spain, silk scarves from India, embroidered skirts from Japan, glazed potteries from Africa, engraved copper from Arabia. At the time Golconda was an important seaport, every country had deposited some of its riches there. When it was no longer visited, the Mexicans themselves had created variations upon these themes, adding inventions of their own. Cages containing tropical birds were panoplied with striped awnings like the tents of ancient maharajahs. From them the Mexicans had inherited the art of training birds to pick out of their hands tiny folded papers containing predictions for the future." -excerpt from Seduction of the Minotaur, by Anais Nin The dream I was afraid of Full encounters with you It makes me happy to see Young love blossoming When my subconscious, Sadly decaying, Is still accepting Every breath he takes, Coupled with romantic thought Soon we will be commiserating The days of praying for sensible laying and perfect sayings are since drifted away into history where kings and beasts and brave honey bees all slave away to the beat of the heart of one queen She still seems to sing Her song happens to bring me Some semblance of peace I must persevere into the horizon of hope that has since borne me in multitudinous instances Ok, okay I get you Can I have you? Are you used up? Tired of trying? Trapped in your dying? Slowly singing swan songs? Like your possibly planning on being gone? Here is now so sew something And reap the rewards once we can resurface Back to the surface Makes me kinda nervous
2.
I yell Raise Hell Have sold Still sell Your secrets In distress The harm I hold Your hand Is cold Your secrets In distress Shadows Between The fence Arguments Relations In distress Maturity Take your leave And leave again Too soon See these wounds They weep Like tea I steep Becoming stronger
3.
You've got my fascination Your smile is pure elation But I am a simpleton With desires so innocent My street has since grown quiet All the bustle's died but I want riots What scares you so much about the ones that you love? I love you in ways I won't be able to explain You've got a smile so sure I'm sure that I want it, too Big eyes that grow even wider How do I prove this to you? I cry for no attention Are you seeking absolution I think I've got detention Dreamt I was skipping lessons I held your hand once What did you say? A splintered finger wouldn't send you away I really meant it, "I want you to stay" But you're closer in dreams Than in the mornings It makes you look older Who wants a shoulder for leaning? My heart goes sinking And everyone's watching Us My dad would be so proud If he could see us now But unlike Saruman He can't see from far away In my mind I see a face She's leaving me right in my place
4.
oh, see 03:35
Oh, see Thought about the times that you wanted to go home The places that you thought were your home You're all alone You're sittin in your home Noone's calling on your phone You think that you've got a problem but you (really) don't (no) Cause you know that it is (actually) wrong To wear But I see them anyways On sunny days Even through the haze Of the beach of Morro Bay So what the hey? Why won't you wear me? I think you just scare me Ahhwooooooooooooooo You just hate me Why don't you love me like I love you? You know that I do If it fits wear that shoe I don't even care if you do
5.
The wandering starlight Hits your eyes in dead night How to maintain On a course that is one part lazy Other pieces Justified and honor-crazy Blackness around us Inside the pupils I barely see Left and right Dominate in a fist fight Weakness leaves me Shot from a pistol decomposing The weight is a stampede (Left hand to right) Of patient police Protecting monuments Reversing reprimands Remember your worst Broken wrist A frail fist fractured finally By a family fostering fear When will I leave here? Writers in icy cabins Melt to summers beneath their feet Winters in icy cabins Melt to summers beneath their feet
6.
forever? 01:15
In the Summer when I thought we'd be together In the Summer (when I thought we'd live forever) I'm a sinner without leather Talked to you and I touched you, too Feeling tough, looking rough tonight In the Summer when I thought we'd be together In the Summer I thought we might live forever But forever's too long And you got me all wrong And you don't have my new phone number to call Trying to forget her Trying to forget
7.
Thinking it's about time I come over to you Think it's about time I finally do What I thought I could do A long time ago So let me know If you think that I'm not going back to your place If you think that I'm not coming back to kiss your face If you think that I'm never going to try to erase A love that I hold and a kiss that I've scored From your lips Softest touch It's not too much It's not too much Softest Understand, understand Fly away Try to say You think that you're not But you think that you've got something going on Los Angeles is calling and Spring is falling around And soon we'll be back and Summer attacks And you find yourself sleeping in sweaty sheets But our feet stink Cause the water don't run Down the drain It just stays in one place just like our love And we think about days That don't ever stay in the same place And the water it drains down the sink So I'm keeping my face clean Ya I'm keeping my mustache trimmed
8.
Uh huh I hate my life Wish I could smile less And yes I do detest Your sense of style If I could write down Every single thing I've found About your personal Identity And then we'll both find ourselves Both found and feather-spent Both underneath underwear In our own beds And this goes On and on and on And it flows Until the morning's dawn And it holds Our attention like a kite Swirling and turning and tossing itself Into our sight See you on the phone Leaving messages for me Leaving sentences to read And doesn't it feel good to be free?
9.
I sadly explain As I walk in the rain downtown That I gave it a thought And I realized I didn't have a lot But it all goes the same way At the end of the day You left me on hold

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photo by hannah rusonik

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released June 30, 2016

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nearly headless Seattle, Washington

matthew hahn

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